As a guild leader, which isn’t the easiest hat to wear in the first place, you have to deal with the majority of the player relations too. But what do you do when you have a player who suddenly G-quits? Well, for our guild, we tend to treat this as a burned bridge. By that, I mean, they’ve decided to leave and we aren’t going to go follow and beg them to reconsider.
Usually, when you look at the situation as a whole, the person had an unresolved issue, but didn’t come to the proper person with it, or didn’t want to hear the explanation. Sometimes it’s suspected that they are using the unresolved issue as an excuse to jump ship. Other times, it’s truly miss-communication at it’s finest. The person who left may have taken something out of context, or felt like they weren’t being valued.
How do you fix this? For the most part, you can’t fix how other people perceive things. You can try to explain it in a different way, but sometimes the feelings have already settled in. Having a guild charter helps, because you can clarify a policy if it was unclear, and direct the person to the policy if they feel you aren’t being fair.
Some people will still find that a /gquit is their only option to be heard. This is problematic though, because at this point, burned bridges leave the impression of drama. I see an out of the blue, unexplained gquit as a dramatic answer to a simple problem, and as such, it leaves me to believe that the person who left will continue to be dramatic if they come back. Sort of like the kid who threatens to run away because mom makes him eat his peas. This kid isn’t going to change his attitude about the peas, he just wants his mommy back.
If the person is leaving the guild and comes to us though, and leaves on a good note, usually they are welcomed back if they decide to rejoin at a later time. Situations change, some people will want to be more hardcore than we are, some will want to be more casual than we are, and others, just may want to try a different server/faction/guild with their friends. The bottom line is, if you’re going to leave, leave on a GOOD note.
How does your guild handle burned bridges?
Nice post, Eluna! For us, how you leave is very important. If you say you have RL friends starting a guild and they’ve asked you to join, OK. If your Uni timetable has changed and you want to raid with others, but if it changes back to times and you want to come back to us… well, that’s kind of ok.
What I DON’T find ok, is that people leave to go to other guilds, thinking the grass is greener over there only to find that they were better off staying with us. These people I don’t take back. Guild loyalty means a lot to me, and if the going gets tough and you go “see ya later” and then expect us to let you come back when we’re back on our feet again? I don’t think so.
I agree Navimie! Although I’m ok with someone taking a raiding toon to another guild with an appropriate raiding schedule to suit their needs better, since my schedule is usually not as flexible. The main reason we started Angry Gingers is because we wanted to raid after our kids were in bed and on our time table.
The last thing is the most important, I’d say. “If you leave, leave on a GOOD note”. I’ve always tried to do that in the past, and it’s really the best for later days, especially if you play on a small server where everyone knows each other (as I do in LotRO).
I personally don’t have too much with “guild loyalty”, (although now it sounds a bit too negative, I do of course feel attached to my guild) but I do believe in honesty and openness. If someone tells me the grass is greener for him/her at the other side (“I would like to raid more and those guys will give me the opportunity” / “I would like to play with my real life friends in the same guild” / “I don’t have enough time to raid together with you, so I’m better off in a more casual guild”), that’s their decision. We all play just to have fun in the end, and there’s no need for any drama on either side.
yes, I agree, people pay to play the game, I don’t pay for them, so I can’t make their choices, I would much rather someone enjoy playing